


The Solve It Squad Returns (and this time, they're gay)

by Taheknier



Category: The Solve It Squad - Tin Can Brothers
Genre: Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, Multi, gwen is a repressed bisexual, keith is aropan, scrags and esther are qpps, together they're idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taheknier/pseuds/Taheknier
Summary: After the squad gets back together, Scrags notices some weird behavior from the others. Everyone has a crisis.Hard to summarize without spoiling but expect plenty of gay shit as well as the best QPPs, Esther and Scrags
Relationships: Esther/Gwen (The Solve It Squad), Esther/Scrags (The Solve It Squad)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. The gang's all here! I think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my brain had an idea. i needed something to do with my life soooo i went with it.
> 
> first chapter is short, just some backstory with scrags while we set up the plot!
> 
> NOTE: this fic was made before the back in biz episodes released, so Esther's pronouns are she/her in the POVs that aren't their own until chapter 5 (which, as i'm writing this, hasn't actually been published yet). i will go back and change the pronouns in chapter 2, since it is from Esther's POV, they just hadn't come out to the others yet.

It had been a few weeks since the squad got back together, and things were alright, for the most part. Scrags would be lying if he said he didn’t notice any tensions between the group. He was doing his best to build bridges and got back together with Esther as queerplatonic partners. As it turned out, they’d really missed each other, and it was nice to have a reliable friend again. They were technically like that before - intimacy through hand-holding and cuddling and such without the romantic aspect - but they didn’t have a label for it.

Scrags worried about Esther’s addiction and did his best to help her, but she ensured him that it was fine. He’d noticed her spiraling lately, though. Esther relied more on drugs, falling further back into the habits she’d had before the squad got back together. Scrags didn’t want to pry, but he was very concerned about what had her spiraling this bad.

He’d also noticed that things were off with Gwen and Keith. They had seemed into each other, so they’d started dating, but it just didn’t feel right anymore. Keith wasn’t as flirty and cocky as he usually was, and Gwen was always on edge, like she was stressed about something.

She also kept staring at Esther. It reminded Scrags of grade school. All those years ago, he’d noticed her staring the same way. Sometimes it was at Esther, sometimes it was at some other pretty girl in their grade, it didn’t really matter. Scrags had suggested that Gwen might like girls, and she went a bit crazy. Gwen kept saying she COULDN’T like girls because it wasn’t normal and she had to be perfect and she knew she liked guys so was she gay or not? The obvious answer to her was ‘not gay’, because no matter how many times Scrags assured her it was fine to be gay and you could like both girls and boys, she refused to accept it. He wasn’t sure if Gwen was having a similar crisis now, or if she was going through something entirely different.

Scrags wondered a lot of things. He wondered if Gwen and Keith really even liked each other. He wondered if Gwen and Esther had something going on. He wondered if Keith was having a personal crisis now, too. He made a mental note to ask Esther about her extra reliance on drugs lately. 

The gang may be back together, but Scrags felt like they were further apart than they’d ever been in the last several years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to adohug for letting me brain dump about all this (yes i stole the tags from you <3)


	2. What’s going on inside their head?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Scrags intervenes and Esther is an angsty lesbian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what’s this? an actual whole chapter??? only a day after the first one???? damn, what kinda shit is my brain on

Esther tossed aside their jacket as they fell back on the bed of Scrags’ apartment and sighed. He wasn’t home yet, still working, but Scrags had gotten used to them showing up unannounced. 

He’d been a sort of safe point for them, always willing to help but never stepping past any boundaries. Though, Esther wondered if that was really a good thing anymore. They didn’t have anyone else to talk to, so there was no one to keep them from falling back into their bad habits when life went downhill. Esther had been doing better the past month thanks to Scrags, but if he wasn’t willing to be stubborn enough to stop them from spiraling, things might get messy.

Speaking of Scrags, Esther was impressed. He seemed genuinely happy with his job and life now that he’d managed to move past Cluebert’s death. He was still a bit mad at Keith, but thanks to pressure from the entire squad, Keith was actually working on becoming a better person. He was even learning about the LGBT+ community after discovering that Esther was a polyamorous lesbian. Honestly, Esther wasn’t surprised he had no idea. Sure, they were incredibly open about it, but Keith was just too thick-skulled to realize _anything_. God, that reminded them, they still hadn't come out to everyone else as non-binary. Too much on their plate to think about that.

A pain shot through their head, and Esther was reminded why she came to Scrags’ apartment. For all the drugs they had, Esther didn’t have any plain old pain meds on hand, and they were starting to run out of any drugs that might supplement that. Scrags had taken most of their stash, and the rest was being used fast. 

As Esther debated whether or not to actually get up to retrieve the pain meds, the apartment door opened, followed by the telltale sounds of Scrags arriving home. Keys jingled in his pocket, the folds of his jacket rubbed together, his shoes squeaked a bit on the hardwood floor of the kitchen, and his backpack dropped against the couch. Heavier than usual - maybe he threw it? Might’ve been a rough day at work. 

Esther had a habit of assigning sounds to a specific person, so they knew exactly who would be opening the door or coming up the stairs before they announced themselves. It was a bit trippy when someone borrowed keys or strayed from the routine some other way, they’d sound different and it threw Esther for a loop sometimes. They’d turned it into a bit of a game, it kept their brain occupied.

Esther heard footsteps approaching and knew that Scrags was coming to check if they were here - he’d been caught off guard several times and apparently didn’t like having the living shit scared out of him. Esther called it revenge for Scrags showing up out of nowhere to reunite the squad. Sure enough, the door opened and Esther could see the tall outline of Scrags through the lenses of the new glasses they’d bought a few weeks ago. They immediately closed their eyes again, though, because Scrags had turned on the lights outside the bedroom, and they were NOT ready to be blinded while there was a headache threatening to burst through their skull.

“Hey! Thought you might be here today, you seemed angry at nothing this morning.” Cheery as ever, Scrags greeted Esther, completely ignoring that they were lying spread eagle on the bed in his dark bedroom in the middle of the afternoon for no apparent reason. Esther simply grunted in response, waving a hand towards the door in an attempt to get Scrags to close it. 

“Oh, shit, sorry.” Scrags stepped inside and closed the door, lowering his voice. “Headache?” Esther opened their eyes and managed a nod. “Wait here, I’ll grab some pain medicine for you.” Scrags disappeared back into the living area of the apartment and returned a minute later with a glass of water and a few pills, which Esther took.

“Wait, wait, wait. Can you sit up? I don’t want you to choke on the water.” Esther rolled their eyes but accepted Scrags’ help in sitting up before taking the pills. They knew the meds wouldn’t work immediately, so they just downed the water and handed it back to Scrags. Esther slumped against him and buried their face in his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around them.

They sat like that for a while, waiting in silence for the medicine to kick in. Eventually, the shooting pain dulled to a light throbbing, and Esther moved to sit up more properly. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Scrags broke the silence and glanced down at Esther, concern written on his face.

“Talk about what?” Scrags scoffed lightly, but there was no anger in it.

“Esther, you’ve been... off lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneaking more and more drugs. You’re getting close to the doses you were taking before, if you keep going like this you’re gonna hurt yourself. I’ve been trying to avoid mentioning it, but I can’t let the problem just keep growing.” Scrags didn’t say anything else, clearly waiting for an explanation of some sort from Esther. They sighed.

“Fine. I’ve been trying to avoid it too because it really fucking sucks to think about. Remember my girlfriend?” Scrags nodded. “We broke up.” 

For a minute, it was quiet again. Scrags thought that might be the end of it, but Esther continued.

“I technically broke up with her, but then it got worse. I did it because I just felt like I couldn’t give her the love she deserved anymore, but when I mentioned it to her she said she felt the same way. And you know why? Because I was a fucking experiment to her. She wanted to ‘mess around with her sexuality’ and played it off as a polyamorous relationship so she could still be with her boyfriend. Nobody respects my goddamn identity and it _sucks_.” Her voice cracked a bit on the last word, head dropping back onto his shoulder, and Scrags held her tighter.

“Well, she’s an asshole. She doesn’t deserve any love at all from you. I’m sorry you broke up, but it’s good that she’s out of your life now. You know I’m always here for you, yeah?” Esther mumbled an affirmation into his jacket collar. “So, this is why you’ve been doing more drugs again? You’ve been struggling with a breakup but you’ve also been overthinking everything and assuming that your identity means nothing, therefore allowing yourself to rationalize self-hatred and drug use?” 

Scrags didn't receive an answer, which he took to mean yes. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Scrags took a deep breath, thinking for a second. “Are you feeling well enough to watch some TV? Might help get your mind off things for a little while.” Esther agreed, and they got up to go to the living room, settling on the couch and sharing a blanket. 

While Scrags set up the TV, Esther thought about their conversation. Scrags was almost uncomfortably right, his detective brain must be more useful outside of work than she thought. But what she’d told him... it was the truth, just not all of it. What they hadn’t explained was why they broke up with their girlfriend. Esther wasn’t able to give their girlfriend the love she deserved because with the squad back together, her unfortunate crush on Gwen had also returned. It wasn’t their fault that Gwen was just _so damn pretty_ all the time. Esther was glad that Scrags didn’t pry any further, they didn’t know if they could handle that conversation today.

Before they could dive any deeper into any of those thoughts, Scrags picked out an episode of Brooklyn 99 and hit play. The rest of the day was spent laughing and forgetting about the world as the two of them simply enjoyed each other’s company. Who is everyone else to judge if they maybe ate a little bit - okay, a lot - of junk food while they watched? Esther was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry for the angst but i’m also not done yet so.... bear with me please
> 
> (i’m also sorry it’s a bit sloppy, i’ll probably go back and touch it up when i’m finished but right now this fic just consists of whatever words come out of my brain. my prime writing time also happens to be 10-12 at night so. agh. my apologies.)


	3. Compulsive Heterosexuality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gwen thinks about a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit this got long (it felt even longer because it was so hard to write)

_“Hey, Gwen?” Scrags sounded hesitant._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Have you ever considered that you might like girls?” Gwen’s head swiveled around to look at him so fast he thought it might fall off._

_“What makes you think that?” The question was sharp, but she seemed less angry and more... caught off-guard._

_“You’ve, uh, kind of been staring at Esther for the last 5 minutes. Seemed a bit lost in your head there.”_

_“Well, yeah. I was... thinking. About schoolwork. And... Esther’s smart. She might be able to help. Also she’s right in my line of sight, where else would I look?” Scrags looked around the very big, open lunchroom, where there were definitely other places to look than at pretty girls. “Scrags, I don’t- I_ can’t _like girls, okay?”_

_“Okay.”_

-

So Gwen might like girls. 

Specifically Esther. Because honestly, who else? 

She still liked Keith, she really did, but the feeling wasn’t quite as strong. A lot of it had been an act, some conscious and some not. She’d been dead set on being perfect her whole life, and growing up around the people she did, that meant straight. 

For years she suppressed any stray feelings that could mean disappointing her parents and friends. They all talked about how unnatural it was for people to be gay - how homosexuals were a disease. Gwen never understood it, but she would do anything to be liked. And she DID like guys, so she tried not to let it bother her.

It worked, for a while. All emotions were pushed deep down to never be seen again. She started believing herself when she said she just wanted to be friends with a pretty girl, it was all shoved so far down that it became second nature to either ignore the feelings or punish herself for having them. 

Then Scrags suggested that she might like girls. Whoo, Gwen was not ready for that. Apparently, she’d been staring at Esther again without noticing. It would’ve been embarrassing if she wasn’t so in shock. Scrags had said it so simply, like it wasn’t something that he would criticize her for.

But no, there was no way. Everyone always told her it was wrong. Gwen didn’t like girls. She couldn’t. No, Gwen was perfect, smart, and very much straight.

The following week had been a mess. All the emotions she had bottled up for years finally came bursting out, and Gwen was firmly avoiding everyone as she did her best to ignore those emotions. Esther was worried, Cluebert was dead, Scrags was grieving, and Keith kept flirting when it was really not the right time. 

With everything going on, fights broke out between everyone. After many petty disagreements, a couple monologues, quite a bit of yelling, and a good heap of miscommunication, the squad agreed to just go their separate ways. The rest of high school was tense; Scrags wouldn’t talk to anyone, Gwen embraced the ‘popular’ life and established herself in an entirely different social circle, Esther stopped helping people with homework and eventually switched schools, and Keith graduated only a few months later.

Gwen thought she’d be free after she graduated, but her time as part of the Solve It Squad followed her everywhere. She never expected to be this annoyed at being well-known. She did her best to make something of herself, trying to drag her name away from the Solve It Squad and into a different spotlight. Acting almost worked, but she never really managed to get a big enough part. She was still ‘Gwen from the Solve It Squad’. She thought maybe it wasn’t different enough; she had always been an actress, and the drama of mystery-solving was too similar to crime TV shows and movies. 

So, Gwen tried writing. Even if she wasn’t the best writer, it was cathartic to her. Not to mention, it gave her enough work to justify not having a life outside her attempts at a career. Sure, she had a few friends. A few boyfriends came and went throughout the years. She almost had a husband once, before she learned that he wanted kids. Babies were gross and made too much noise, no way she was giving birth to one of those. But her friends and occasional boyfriend weren’t enough to maintain an actual life. Gwen hardly ever went outside, almost exclusively ordered takeout, and spent most of her time cooped up in her apartment writing or putting on a false persona for social media. 

That was just how things were until Scrags tracked her down again with information about the Demonic Apostle. And yeah, maybe Gwen was selfish about it all at first. Even though she wanted to run away from the mystery scene, this felt like an opportunity. She could get her friends off her back for not doing anything, spice up her love life with Keith, and make some money off it all. 

Looking back on it, they’d pretty much all been assholes throughout the time they were working on closing the case. Gwen tried to set them up for a reality TV show and kept filming the group without permission. Keith had literally impersonated the Demonic Apostle and been an overall douche. Scrags snapped at them, getting angrier than Gwen had ever seen him over a dog that had been dead for 20 years. And Esther... well, Esther didn’t actually do anything majorly asshole-ish. She was very blunt and occasionally that meant rude, but she never seemed to get genuinely angry with anyone. Probably too caught up in her own head. 

Gwen felt bad for Esther. No, that sounded pitying. It was different than pity. What she felt was some... strange blend of anger and care. She was mad at Esther for choosing to use drugs to suppress her intelligence but concerned that she was struggling so badly to need to do that in the first place. Gwen thought Esther’s intelligence was beautiful and incredible, why would she want to chase it away with drugs? 

She wanted to help Esther so badly, but she was also terrified of feelings resurfacing, so instead Gwen just avoided her. For the most part. The one night they ended up sharing a hotel room was... awkward, to say the least, but Gwen just pretended to work until Esther passed out on the floor. That was a bit messy to deal with. But at least she’d avoided any dangerous emotions! 

Well, up until now. Gwen had been thinking, recently. She wasn’t one to do that often, she normally let others do it for her, but she felt it necessary. Things were off with her and Keith. He didn’t seem as interested in the relationship, especially as of late, and when her gut reaction to that was relief, Gwen decided she should _definitely_ look into those feelings. 

It didn’t take long to decipher that she wanted space from Keith. He seemed to need it too, so she’d starting devising a way to (hopefully) mutually break up. It took Gwen longer to figure out why she wanted that.

It finally clicked when the squad was going out for ice cream a few days ago. Scrags made a witty comment that made everyone laugh, but Keith and Esther were sitting next to each other, giving Gwen the perfect side by side comparison of her feelings for both of them. Keith’s smile was warm and his barking laugh was loud and welcoming, but it could hardly compare to the light that seemed to emanate from Esther when Gwen heard her laugh. Her smile, her real actual genuine smile, was so unbelievably gorgeous that Gwen nearly dropped dead on the spot. In summary, she had very much failed in her quest to not catch feelings.

She knew polyamorous relationships were a thing, Esther was poly, after all, but they just didn’t seem right for Gwen. She didn’t want to have to divide her love, or make one person feel less appreciated than the other, so breaking up with Keith was her best option here. 

And all that was why Gwen was currently stood in front of Keith’s van door, gathering the courage to knock. When she finally did, Keith was quick to answer.

“Oh, hey babe!” He moved aside to let her step in.

Accepting the invitation, she stepped up into the van and took a seat, Keith plopping down beside her.

“Hey Keith! I, uh, wanted to talk to you.” She took a shaky breath and Keith’s brow furrowed.

“Sure. What’s on your mind?” He seemed to have picked up on her nervousness, his tone now more cautious.

“I want you to listen to my explanation after I say this but... I think we should break up.” Keith’s face immediately dropped all signs of worry and he actually laughed a bit, which just made Gwen very confused.

“That’s actually kind of a relief.” This did not make anything more clear for Gwen. Sensing her confusion, Keith waved a hand nonchalantly. “I’ll explain, but you go first.”

“Oookay... Well, I still like you, I really do, but I’ve just had... a confusing time with my emotions lately. And I think I like someone else more than I like you, so I wanted to break up with you before I accidentally hurt you even more. Also so I can feel less guilty about it.” Gwen started talking faster as she got a bit off track. “Also I thought you might need the space too, so I figured we could probably stay friends and judging by your reaction I guess I was right?” Keith chuckled, stopping her rambling. 

“Yeah. I’ve been doing some research for Esther, looking up gay people and all of that.” His smile dropped and he looked almost as nervous as Gwen had been not moment ago. “Ended up going pretty deep and... I think I’m aromantic? You’re still hot, obviously, but a romantic relationship just didn’t feel right to me. Does that make sense?” Gwen grinned.

“That makes total sense, Keith! I’m so glad you figured that out.” Keith matched her smile.

“Thanks. I was worried it would be weird, because like... I still find people attractive and stuff. Honestly, I don’t totally understand it, but it just works.” Gwen nodded in understanding.

“I’ve been doing some looking into my own sexuality. I actually, um... I might be bisexual.” Keith’s face lit up with intrigue.

“Wait, so does that mean this person you like isn’t a guy? Is that how you figured it out?” 

“Yeah. Um... she’s a girl. And I’ve liked her for way longer than I want to admit, I’ve just been ignoring it all and hoping it would go away.” Gwen laughed, but it was hollow and forced.

“Why? I don’t know about you, but it feels a lot better to just be honest about...” he waved his hand around vaguely. “All that.” 

“I always felt like I had to be perfect because I was so popular and everyone expected so much from me, and as a kid that also meant being straight. So I just... tried really hard to not be straight. It sounds silly when I say it out loud.” 

“No, no - I think I read about this. People do this shit all the time, the world forces heteronormativity on you and you think it’s bad to be gay or bi or whatever you want to be.” Keith racked his brain for a second, and snapped a finger gun at Gwen when he got it. “Compulsive heterosexuality! That’s what it is! It’s not stupid, it’s an actual thing, but you’ve gotta learn to get around it or you’re never gonna be satisfied with your life.”

Gwen just sat there and stared at Keith for a minute.

“When did you get so smart?” Keith dramatically clutched his chest like he was offended.

“How rude of you, babe, I have _always_ been smart.” Gwen snorted inelegantly. “Is it alright if I still call you babe even though we broke up?”

“Yeah, that’s alright. I like it. Glad you asked, though, you finally _are_ learning to not be a total douche!” She nudged his shoulder playfully and Keith rolled his eyes so hard it hurt to look at, sending them both into fits of laughter.

Overall, Gwen thought it went pretty well. They spent the rest of the day chatting just like they had before, going on about their friends and the TV shows they were watching and everything under the sun, until that sun started to set and Gwen had to make her way back home. 

She went to sleep happy, knowing that she had 3 good friends who would always stick with her and 1 that knew who she really was. Keith was right, it was comforting to just be her. Gwen couldn’t wait to come out to the others, she knew Scrags and Esther were QPPs and would have no qualms with Keith being aro and Gwen being bi. God was she glad the world had moved on from how homophobic it was back when she was 15. 

Gwen did like girls, and that was perfectly okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the delay! i hope the 2k words made up for it :)


	4. MARIO KART

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A group hangout gets interrupted. Esther is in pain. It’s gay. 
> 
> This chapter was going to be kind of sickfic-y but plans changed, I do like how it turned out though. And no worries, you’ll definitely get sickfic in the future :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i can explain- 
> 
> first off i am so sorry it took me two weeks, i was really lacking inspiration for a while. then i got hooked on spies are forever and got a bit distracted writing an angsty fic for THAT, which i may or may not publish. but today was the first livestreamed reading of the solve it squad back in biz episodes, and i got my inspiration back! whoo! chapter ended up just shy of 2k!
> 
> a note: you may be asking “but taheknier, you saw the livestream, so what about the Big Thing?” well, dear reader, my friend who is the only regular reader of this fic that i know of (hi fox) has not seen it yet, so i’m patiently waiting for them to flip out about it, but also i couldn’t find a way to go back and change what i’ve already written or fit it in this one chapter. the change will be made, but it’ll happen as a part of the story. for now, enjoy!

Scrags was excited. He’d gotten a day off of work, so he’d suggested that the group get together at his apartment to just hang out for a bit. Recently, Scrags was swamped with work on this new case, so they hadn’t gotten to have a full squad hangout in a while. Esther was already there, she lived the closest and spent half her time at his apartment anyway, but she was in a grumpy mood. She’d come in about 10 minutes ago and immediately flopped onto the floor face-first. He wanted to ask but figured Esther would tell him what was going on if she needed help. Hopefully some time with everyone would cheer her up.

There was a knock on the door and an incoherent grumble from Esther that was muffled by the carpet. Keith and Gwen were here, no doubt. He got up to get the door and, sure enough, the two of them were standing right outside looking happy as ever. 

“Hey guys!” A smile spread across Scrags’ face at the sight of his friends, and he moved aside to let them in.

“Scrags!” Keith exclaimed. “How’ve been, my man? Work been alright?” He stepped into the hallway but kept his eyes on Scrags.

“It’s been great, honestly. Sure, people are dying and going missing, but it’s so much _fun_.” He shut the door and continued into the living room, where Esther had not moved from her spot on the floor. She had moved her head to the side so she could breathe, though, that was an improvement. Scrags and Keith both ignored it and took a seat on the couch.

“Is she... alright?” Gwen questioned. Scrags glanced down.

“I... don’t know.” He poked Esther with his foot. “You good down there?” He got a mumbled ‘mhmm’ in response, and made eye contact with Gwen as if to say ‘well, there you have it’. She shrugged and took a seat in the armchair. 

“So,” Keith started, “I was promised Mario Kart?”

—

About an hour and 5 games of Mario Kart later, Gwen made the executive decision to take a break. She loved hanging out with her friends, but she was not very good at Mario Kart, especially since they had to up the difficulty to match the rest of the group’s skill. She’d also noticed Esther falling behind, which rarely happened. Esther was only bad at video games that had complex controls, in those situations Gwen knew she couldn’t get her hands to work as fast as her brain, but the Mario games were fairly simple and she was just as good as Scrags and Keith, who played quite a bit in their free time. 

Today, however, Esther was nearing Gwen’s level of bad. She’d even managed to pass Esther once! I don’t think you understand, that just does not happen. If they’re being honest with themselves, the whole squad could agree that Esther is better than all of them at practically everything she does. Can you tell why Gwen was concerned? 

“I’m gonna grab some water, be right back.” Esther stood up a bit shakily and made her way to the kitchen. Gwen made the quick decision to follow, ignoring the questioning look from Keith. 

When Gwen entered the small kitchen area, she was met with the sight of Esther frantically opening cabinets left and right, tearing the place up in a panic.

“Uh, Esther? What are you doing?” Esther didn’t slow down at all when Gwen spoke, she didn’t even look at her.

“Drugs. I need more. I can’t do this.” Gwen was a bit confused, but she got the general idea. Esther was searching for the drugs that Scrags had stashed away when they’d gotten the squad back together. She rushed forward and grabbed Esther’s shoulders in an attempt to get her to slow down. It sort of worked, but Esther was writhing against her grip.

“Esther. Just breathe for a second. Look at me.” Gwen squeezed her shoulders to emphasize the point and the squirming weakened, slowing to a stop. “I can’t pretend I know what you’re going through, but it’s clearly hurting you. Breathe, I’ll get you a glass of water.” 

She let go of Esther, who heavily leaned back against the counter with a thud that she was sure the boys could hear in the room over, sliding to the floor. Gwen kept her word and took a glass from one of the already-open cabinets, filling it with cool fridge water and joining Esther on the ground. She tried to hand off the glass to Esther, but noticed that her hands were shaking violently. That would probably be why she was losing so badly at Mario Kart, a bit difficult to steer like that. 

“No, let me,” Gwen said as Esther tried to take the glass. “You’re shaking, I don’t want you to drop it and hurt yourself more.” Esther nodded, and Gwen held the water up to her mouth to sip carefully. When she finished, Gwen reached up and set the glass on the counter, taking a good look at Esther. 

She was a fucking wreck. Her hair was even more of a mess than usual, it looked like she’d tried to trim her bangs herself and then tried to rip all her hair out. Her beanie was carelessly flopped over her head in an attempt to hide the mess of hair, and Gwen was pretty sure Esther had been wearing those clothes for the past week, judging by the smell and dirtiness. How in the hell did Esther manage to be so disgusting and STILL look pretty?

“The fuck are you looking at?” Gwen snapped back into focus to see Esther staring at her with an eyebrow cocked, face a mix of curiosity and amusement. 

“You just... you look really rough.” Esther sighed and nodded. “If you need to go home, I’m sure Scrags and Keith will understand.” 

“You’re not even gonna ask why I’m tearing through my partner’s kitchen looking like shit? I mean, that’s gotta spark some curiosity, at least.”

“I mean, I didn’t want to intrude, but I do kinda want to know. I just want you to be safe.” Esther smiled tiredly.

“The quick explanation is: I was able to keep some drugs, but I finally ran out a few days ago. Withdrawal is hitting hard, and that was me trying to relapse.” She put her head in her hands and groaned. “Which is what I am _trying_ to avoid. It’s not working very well.” Gwen stood up. Feeling the absence of heat next to her, Esther pulled her head out of her hands to look up. 

Gwen silently reached out her hands for Esther to take. She obliged, and Gwen pulled her to her feet. 

“The priority here is your health. Relapsing won’t help. You’re going home, and you’re going to rest. Whatever it takes, I - we will take care of you while you recover. Okay?” Esther hesitated for a moment and swallowed, closing her eyes and focusing on her breathing before nodding. “I’ll explain to Scrags, we’ll figure out how best to help. Please call me if you need help.” Esther mumbled incoherently and slumped against Gwen, burying her face in her shoulder.

Not letting go of Esther’s hands, Gwen lead her back into the living room where the boys were waiting and towards the door. She mouthed ‘later’ at Scrags and Keith’s concerned expressions, she just had to make sure Esther got home safe right now. 

—

Scrags lay in his bed later that day, mulling over everything. The day had started out alright - he had a nice morning and was looking forward to hanging out with his friends. But when the time came, it was all a bit off. Esther was barely talking, not even to argue about how Yoshi and Toad are clearly the weakest characters to main in Mario Kart, which she did every time they played. On top of that, she performed worse than Scrags had ever seen, she’d done better when she was high as a kite and drunk off her shit.

Then they had called a break, and Esther and Gwen disappeared into the kitchen for about ten minutes. All he could gather was some loud rummaging, the sound of water being poured, and some quiet conversation that filtered through the thin walls. Not clear enough to pick out words, of course. Nothing’s ever that easy.

When they came out, Gwen was leading a defeated-looking Esther out the door, supporting nearly all of her weight. The only explanation Scrags got was a promise to explain later, which didn’t help his worrying. Was Esther alright? What had happened in the kitchen? Why was she so tired? Did this have something to do with her poor performance in Mario Kart? 

Thankfully, Gwen had returned 15 minutes later after walking Esther to her apartment - which was in the same building as Scrags’, so there wasn’t far to go. She explained that Esther was going through drug withdrawal. It made sense. Esther was on some crazy high doses, and the drugs she had left weren’t really enough to slowly wane off of. 

Scrags couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. He had taken all of it from Esther, because he thought it would be best at the time. Now, seeing her so physically and mentally exhausted, he wasn’t so sure. Gwen assured him that the best they could do was help her through it, not encourage relapsing, and Scrags had to agree. As much as he hated seeing Esther in pain, a relapse would be worse. 

The two of them - Keith was also sort of there, but not really as involved with the conversation - devised a plan; they would take turns visiting Esther regularly to check up on her and make sure she was feeling alright. Gwen had suggested rehab, but Scrags knew Esther had been there before and GOD did she hate it. She had made it very clear to him that she would not go back there under any circumstances, so that was off the table. Being there was the best they could do. They also remembered that mental stimulation helped ease some of the pain for Esther, so they decided to bring things like Rubix Cubes and brain puzzles along with them to these visits.

After that, they’d gone their separate ways; it would be weird to continue a group hangout without Esther. Scrags spent the rest of the day mostly worrying, hoping that Esther would feel better soon. He just wanted to hug her and know she was okay. They had a plan, though. A plan that would help Esther. A good plan. Hopefully. 

Scrags tried to push away the concerns as he rolled over. Esther was going to be okay. She had to be.


End file.
